Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
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