True but thats because hes a fetus.
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
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