You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Your cock deserves a montage
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
