So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
