then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
