Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
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