This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
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