It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Randomize
