i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
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