i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
