I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
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