Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Randomize
