she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
That accounts for only three of the penises
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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