new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize