You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
