That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Randomize
