Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
