omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
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