I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
