it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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