Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
50% drunk capacity currently
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
