i just had sex bonerless
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
