she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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