How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
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