she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize