Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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