No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
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