he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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