She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
