Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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