So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
