Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
