when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
id be glad to
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
