wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Your topless pictures make me question reality
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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