I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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