Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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