She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
