Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
