Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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