Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
