can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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