Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
