Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
