Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize