why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
