Well apparently he's into motor boating.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
