All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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