She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
