Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
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