took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize