There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
