sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
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