OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
