oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
