I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Randomize
