everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I am midnight drunk by noon
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
