you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
