so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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