I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
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