It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Randomize
