Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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