why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
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