I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
