This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize