There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
