Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
