In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
