I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
