Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I came so hard my ears popped.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize