Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
my liver is dry heaving
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
