I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
