Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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