He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
