how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Damn victory sex feels great
Fuck me I smell like cheese
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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